Spitty Bear

Yesterday was a low dog day at the Nuzum household. For two cents, I would have traded both the dogs for a pair of guinea pigs. The afternoon was rainy and neither dog wanted to go outside to do their business. Rudy, who loves water, hates rain and wouldn’t go outside for anything. Emme got carried outside and I stood in the cold rain with a jacket and umbrella waiting for her to do something. She didn’t like getting her feet wet and the rain distracted her so I spent a lot of time waiting. Then after dinner the two dogs were driving us nuts. We were in the living room watching the big TV and the dogs were on the floor. Emme wanted everything that Rudy had. If Rudy had a stuffed toy, Emme wanted that stuffed toy, not another one. She would grab on to a part of the toy and tug; then both would growl, Rudy would stand up, shake the toy with Emme attached and growl.

I tried putting Emme on my lap to put a little distance between the two, but she was like a wild woman. She would wiggle and squirm and finally I got tired of it and put her down. If Rudy was chewing on a bone, Emme wanted that bone, not another one. Rudy would chew on one end of the bone and Emme would chew on the other end of that bone. It didn’t matter that there were three other bones on the floor. Only that one bone would do. Rudy would chew and growl; Emme would chew and growl. Finally, I had enough and put Emme in her crate for a while. Then Rudy would pick up a lovie with a squeaker and take it in front of Emme’s crate and squeak the toy like he was saying: “Neeener, neener, neener; I’m up and you’re not.”

Later, I got her up again and the entire series began again. Then Rudy decided that I wanted to play with his wet, slobbery teddy bear and he would pick it up and put the disgusting thing on my lap over and over. Finally I had enough and I yelled (something I seldom do) “I don’t want that spitty bear on my lap. Lay down.” Rudy looked like he had been whipped. Emme stopped what she was doing and Ken looked amazed.

At that time, I was considering the merits of having two birds as pets. After a few minutes, I apologized to Rudy and to Ken and to Emme for my outburst, but I was just on overload. The rest of the evening wasn’t as bad, and I know that today will be better. It can’t be worse. (Please don’t let me eat those words.)