Two Gerbils and a Favor

Last night I would have traded both dogs for two gerbils and a big favor to be determined at a later date. It was after 10 o’clock and Ken was watching a movie on DVD and I had fallen asleep on the couch. Suddenly Emme began running around the living room like a wild thing. She woke me up with the noise of doing the “blitz” dashing around and around the living room and dining room and I immediately paid attention. She often does the blitz right before or right after she has taken care of business. Ken walked out to the kitchen and found out that she made a puddle on the kitchen floor. As he cleaned that up, I got my raincoat on and my crocs and prepared to go out in the rain. The back yard was a bog, because we had rain on and off all day. I called Emme “Come. Let’s go outside to hurry up.” She ignored me and continued to run around. I called again. At puppy school we were told that the first time you give a command you are ordering the dog; the second time you are asking the dog; the third time you are begging; and the fourth time, you are the dog.” So I went and got Emme and I went out on the porch with her to put on her collar and leash. As soon as I put her down on the porch floor, she immediately jumped onto the shelf under the wicker table and stayed there. I called her, but she was not budging. There is no way I can reach her to pull her out unless I crawl on the floor to get her. No way. So I walked back into the kitchen and closed the door to the porch. She immediately got off the shelf and stood at the door, looking into the kitchen like “Hey, where are you?” I went back on the porch and put on her collar to take her outside. After investigating a few mud puddles and smelling a hundred blades of grass with me standing in my jammies under an umbrella, she made some doodles. I brought her back in and then took Rudy outside. He walked around to the back of the porch and got to business quickly. Then he decided that he would return to the house by cutting between the corner of the porch and the birdhouse. Of course, he was on the leash and that wrapped around the post and he couldn’t figure how to get back in. I had to walk over to the birdhouse and pull Rudy around the right direction to untangle him. This was all too much at 10:30 PM, a time that I am not at my best. After I finally got both dogs back inside I was ready for bed and all I wanted to do was forget that we had two dogs, especially these two. I wonder what it would be like to have goldfish…